Los Angeles · Est. Out of Spite
Latte
Larry's
Better coffee. Better chairs. Better everything. We have the beans now.
“A neighborhood coffee shop founded on the principle that if someone is going to do something poorly, the only appropriate response is to do it better. Right next door. Until both buildings burn down.”
Founder's Statement, Opening Day
WOBBLE-FREE TABLES• PROPERLY TEMPERATURED BEVERAGES• COASTERS ARE MANDATORY• WE RESPECT WOOD• LIDS THAT FIT• CHAIRS THAT DON'T SQUEAK• DEFINITELY NOT A REVENGE PROJECT• WOBBLE-FREE TABLES• PROPERLY TEMPERATURED BEVERAGES• COASTERS ARE MANDATORY• WE RESPECT WOOD• LIDS THAT FIT• CHAIRS THAT DON'T SQUEAK• DEFINITELY NOT A REVENGE PROJECT•
Our Story
Founded on
principle.
And one very specific grievance.
Every great coffee shop has an origin story. Ours involves a wobbly table, a lukewarm latte, and an owner who was told to leave and never come back.
Latte Larry's was born when our founder visited a competing establishment across the street and experienced what can only be described as a systemic failure of hospitality. The coffee was tepid. The chairs wobbled. Nobody was using coasters. When these concerns were raised—politely, according to our founder; "like a lunatic," according to Mocha Joe—he was asked to leave.

Most people would have written a Yelp review. Larry opened a coffee shop. There was one problem: Mocha Joe had the beans. He was in possession of the beans, and he knew it, and he was smug about it. So Larry found his own beans. Better beans. Beans sourced with the singular motivation of proving another man's beans inferior. Same block. Better coffee. Better chairs. Coasters on every table. Coasters are non-negotiable. You respect the wood or you leave.

Within three months, the competing establishment experienced what we can only call a market correction. Then both establishments experienced what the fire department called "an electrical event." Both shops burned down. Same night. We wish Mocha Joe's well. We do. Jeff says we should say that, and Jeff is usually right about these things. Jeff is wrong about everything else, but he's right about this. The important thing is: we had the beans.
"The best coffee comes from passion. Our passion just happens to be proving someone wrong." — Opening day speech. (We also serve scones. They're dry. That's on purpose. A dry scone is an honest scone. And at $1.10 a cup after the price war, our coffee was practically free. We won that too.)
“We don't compete with other coffee shops. We correct them.”
Latte Larry's Mission Statement
What We Serve
The Menu
Our Guarantee
The Latte Larry's Promise
Wobble-Free Guarantee
Every table individually leveled. Checked daily. If your table wobbles, your coffee is free. This has never happened because we are not Mocha Joe's.
We have a level. We use it. Every morning.
Temperature Certified
Every hot beverage served between 155°F and 165°F. Not "pretty warm." Not "getting there." Thermometer-verified. This should not be revolutionary but apparently it is.
You would be amazed how many places get this wrong.
Respect the Wood
Coasters on every table. Coasters are not optional. Coasters are not decorative. They are functional protection for surfaces that deserve to be treated with dignity.
If you put a wet glass directly on the table, we will say something. To your face.
Chair Integrity
All seating tested quarterly. No squeaking. No tilting. No making that sound that causes everyone to look at you. Chairs are replaced at the first sign of instability.
This policy was born from a specific incident we'd rather not revisit.
Lid Compliance
Our lids fit. Every single time. They click. You hear it. You feel it. If you've been hurt by a bad lid at another establishment, you're safe here.
We tested forty-seven lid suppliers. Forty-six were unacceptable.
We wish Mocha Joe's all the best in their future endeavors.
Both establishments burned down. But the spirit of Latte Larry's lives on. Mocha Joe's spirit does not. We wish it well.
For Your Visit
House Policies
On Sampling
You are entitled to one sample. One. The person who requests a seventh taste of the same blend has declared war on the social contract and will be asked to conclude their sampling journey elsewhere.
If you need seven samples, you don't want coffee. You want attention.
On the Stop & Chat
If you see someone you know, a nod is sufficient. If you must speak, thirty seconds maximum. If you trap a fellow customer in unwanted conversation, management reserves the right to intervene. We have intervened before. We will intervene again.
A head nod is a complete social interaction.
On the Chat & Cut
Approaching someone near the front of the line under the pretense of acquaintance in order to absorb their position is a Class A violation of Latte Larry's policy. Our jurisdiction is the entire premises. We will call it out. Publicly.
The founder named this crime. He is the only person willing to prosecute it.
On Respecting Wood
Every table in this establishment is crafted from quality hardwood. Every table has a coaster. If you place a sweating beverage directly on the surface, you will be provided a coaster and a meaningful look. Second offense: a conversation. Third offense: we can't help you.
Wood has feelings. Act accordingly.
On the Long Goodbye
If you announce you are leaving and then remain in the doorway for an additional thirty minutes, you are a Long Goodbye person. The door is a portal, not a lounge. Commit to leaving. Leave. We believe in you.
This also applies to phone calls. Say goodbye once.
On Mocha Joe's
We do not discuss Mocha Joe's. We have moved on. We are focused entirely on our own journey. If a customer mentions Mocha Joe's, the founder may become briefly agitated. This is normal. It passes. Usually within the hour.
Please do not ask about the chairs. Or the wobbling. Or the temperature situation.
On the Carpool Lane
Our drive-through lane is single-occupant friendly. We do not require a passenger. We do not judge your commute arrangements. If you've made creative choices to access faster lanes, we understand. We've been there. Literally.
The Dodgers won. Everything else is details.
On Double-Dipping
Our complimentary biscotti is a single-dip experience. You dip once. You rotate. You dip the undipped side. This is the Geneva Convention of shared snacking and it will be enforced.
George Costanza was right about this. We will die on this hill.
“Anybody can open a coffee shop. It takes a visionary to open one purely out of spite.”
Larry David · Founder
What People Say
Reviews
★★★★★
“The coffee is incredible. The tables don't wobble. The owner did stare at the empty storefront across the street for the entire time I was there, but the latte was perfect.”
Verified Customer
Owner: I was not staring. I was reflecting. There's a difference. Thank you for your patronage.
★★★★★
“Someone put their cup down without a coaster and the owner appeared out of NOWHERE. Like a coaster ninja. Honestly impressive response time.”
Verified Customer
Owner: Twelve seconds. Our personal best is eight. We are always watching. Respectfully.
★★★★★
“LARRY, YOU BALD— actually the scones are really good. Five stars. The scones are good. Don't let it go to your head.”
Susie G.
Owner: Susie is a valued customer. We have asked her to moderate her volume. She has declined. Every time.
★★★★☆
“I been here every day for seven years. I don't pay. Sort of. The coffee is excellent. I'm not leaving. The situation is what it is.”
Leon B.
Owner: Leon is family. Uninvited family, but family. The payment situation is evolving. His coffee recipe is excellent. These facts are related.
★★★★★
“Great coffee. The owner confronted a man who was chat-and-cutting in the ordering line. It was simultaneously the most uncomfortable and most righteous thing I've ever witnessed.”
Verified Customer
Owner: I named that crime. I am the only person willing to enforce the law. You're welcome.
★★★★★
“Came for the coffee, stayed because the owner started explaining why anonymous donations are morally superior but also infuriating when Ted Danson gets all the credit. I missed my meeting but I agree with him.”
Verified Customer
Owner: Ted got a whole wing. A WING. I gave the same amount. Anonymously. Because that's the right thing to do. And nobody knows. NOBODY KNOWS, and that's the point, but also it's killing me.
Visit Us
Hours & Location
Latte Larry's
Los Angeles, California
Formerly right next to where Mocha Joe's also formerly was. Both locations are now a vacant lot. The investigation is ongoing.

For inquiries about reopening, bean sourcing, or to commission a table wobble assessment for your own establishment, please use the contact form. Do not ask about the fire. Our attorneys have advised us to say nothing. We are saying nothing. This is us saying nothing.
Get in Touch